How to Take Care of a Big Spider in the House

We had a spider war yesterday. I was cleaning our bedroom when I came across this big spider that
I've been seeing off and on. I decided it was time for him to die. I hit him with some poison, but
he ran away like he had a lot of energy still. So, I called Koleman and we started shooting it with
Nerf bullets. The bullets were only bruising him as he was THAT big. Finally, we knocked him down
to the floor and then Koleman kept dousing him with bug killer spray. He tried to escape under the
bed and into one of Brad's shoes, but that was the end of him as he was practically swimming in
poison spray. Koleman thoroughly enjoys our spider wars and I appreciate his help as he is a lot
braver than me with getting close to the spiders when they're still alive.

-Rebecca